Maybe..

Sabeera beevi’s husband told her that the smell in his breath was that of the 'tincture' he had taken for stomach upset... that was on the third day of her marriage...
A shy 18yr old from an orthodox Muslim family her husband was her God. Her parents were proud of the match...
It took her a few more days to realize that her God was a drunkard...
She was beaten up by him within twelve weeks of married life... she was pregnant at that time...
He was a loving husband during his dry spells... He promised that he would stop his drinking... she would trust him...
She delivered a male baby and then the next one in two years.
By then she was used his violence.
She had been punched in her gut... kicked in her lower abdomen... marked with his belt ..several times..... Her head had been hammered on the wall … she had been hit on the head with a stool…arm twisted till she pleaded for mercy...
She would just sit in a corner and cry her heart out...
She had quiet moments of happiness too .. playing with her babies.. embroidering cute figures for her boy’s cloths…
Quiet evenings during his dry spells ..cooking lovingly for her family while she waited for her Man to come home... Listening to the sound of her boys reading loud from the bedroom... and soft music playing on the transistor on the kitchen shelf...When she would be quietly happy and believe that he would give up drinking forever and everything would be fine.
But the dry spells became shorter and shorter...
She started running out to other quarters when he started to beat her... crying for help... her sons helped her... always kept the doors open...
Then they started to jump in between the parents... their father kicked them away... but they flew back howling and crying...
Years passed and the boys got more stubborn... they were open to him...' they wouldn’t permit it... he could drink if he wanted but he couldn’t hurt her anymore...'
He started non cooperation .. refused to support his "ungrateful" family... sulking... disappearing for days together...
"She was a bitch..!. She had ganged up his own sons against him...”
She started tailoring for the families in nearby quarters ... She went from door to door selling cloths...she had to support her sons...
When I met her she was a fat woman in her forties with chubby cheeks, light brown eyes and an infectious smile. She would sell cloths on installment payment basis among the hospital staff...
Stitch for them too...
I wondered how this woman who had suffered so much could smile so easily... she would come to me for painkillers for the neck pain she got from long hours spent stitching cloths...
She came to see me today...
She was upset... needed money to pay fees for her son... he had got admission for BSC nursing...Her husband had no money... he was sulking... blaming her ..
I consoled her and arranged a bank loan for her son’s studies... she thanked me tearfully and left...
I felt sad. For her... for her sons... for her husband...what made him behave so badly...?’I wondered... Some personality disorder probably.....’
Maybe one day he would realize his wife’s worth. His sons feeling... his responsibilities... ..Unlikely...
Maybe one day she would find happiness... when her sons were well settled... when she held her grandchildren in her arms... when her husband realized her worth...
She would find the happiness she dreamed of in her kitchen...
On quiet evenings spent cooking for her family...waiting for her Man to come home...
Listening to her sons reading loudly from the bedroom and music playing softly on the transistor on the kitchen shelf...

happiness

The happiest people often seem to be the ones with the least reason for being so...

wisdom

Next to knowing when to seize an opportunity, the most important thing is knowing when to forgo an advantage.

BLESSINGS

The platform was crowded. I waited for the train to roll in along with hundreds of passengers. There was anticipation and thrill in the air around me. Anticipation of the weekend ahead... People waited eagerly to meet their wives... girlfriends.. kids..moms... friends... after a week of rush and routine..
My mind was troubled... too much pain and heartburn during the past few weeks...i felt batterd bruised..sort of distant from my world...
I needed a break... badly... I was off to my parents place for the weekend. To destress and recharge...
We found our seats quickly... my boys settled on both sides... I sent an SMS to my husband that everything was fine...
Gautam complained about lack of adequate leg space. He fidgeted for some time... then pulled one end of my dupatta over his eyes... and promptly went to sleep...A,irconditioning always make my elder baby drowsy..
Taj sat quietly reading his set of comics. His huge dark eyes glowed greedily when he saw the cutlets and vadas being sold around... his favourites.
.
I took out an old Jackie Collins novel from my overnighter and started to read… hhhmm… the antics of the fiery smart and bold heroine with her cloud of black curls failed to hold my attention... I smiled to myself... difficult to belive that I had wanted to be like her during my teens...
George of 'Famous Five' had been my role model during my childhood... And Jackie Collin heroines during my late teens.....
i thought about the woman I had grownup to become... soft... emotional... I laughed softly...

I turned the pages trying to find out what was it about the heroine that had made me to adore her...
A folded tiny paper fell down from between the pages... I opened it and read...

“Open your eyes and give your life a glance. Are your basic needs met..? Do you have a home? Food on the table. Cloths to wear..? Is there a regular paycheck coming..?Do you have dreams? Do you have your health…? Can you walk talk see the beauty that surrounds you... listen to muscic that stirs your soul or make your feet want to boogie..? Do you have family and friends whom you love and who loves you..?”


My eyes filled... I thought about the young girl who had copied it from somewhere and placed it between the pages of a favorite novel. She had forgotten about it... but it had come to her when she needed it the most...
I looked out of the window... the stillness of the ashtamudi lake was breathtaking in the setting sunlight...birds were flying back to their nests, a kid was taking a group of goats home...
I thought of my lovely home with its beautiful garden. I thought about the love and security I got there...my parents and sisters who waited for me at the end of the journey...my work which gave me so much certainity and satisfaction...
I signed contently... I couldn’t count my blessings... like stars in the sky I loved to watch at night from my terrace garden they were infinite...
My life ahead beckoned me lovingly. So much love to be shared... books to read... muscic to listen... food and wine... flowers... sunets... rain... and good company to share them...
The beauty and power of simple pleasure that made life beautiful...
I closed my eyes and gave my thanks...