DIGNITY

I heard the sound before I noticed the smell..a feeble whimpering.. like an animal in pain..
I glanced up from the patient I was examining and looked around the ward….oh there she was.. in a corner bed.. emaciated body just skin wrapped around bones...bent double in pain.. . ..A bandage covered one half of her skull like face . I knew that.under the bandage the cheek was eroded..tongue and teeth were visible from outside..and the smell was that of putrified flesh..Infact there had been maggots in her cheeks when she had been brought here..

I had seen her the previous day.. she had been sitting on the bed .. head thrown back and pouring tea down her throat.. her cheeks eroded.. and the stench aroud her..

The cancer in her cheek was spreading.. fast.. and almost encroching into her eyes.
.
I remembered her as she had come to collect the report from me.. tiny dark woman.. a widow.. she had been eager .. .. to take treatment.. to live.. she had a daughter to marry off.. but the cancer had been too aggressive..
I went to her…” sara".. I called softly and took her bony hands in mine..
She opened her eyes.. her gaze was dull probably morphine.. then something in her expression changed.. recognition?..smile.?. I squeezed her hands.. she sqeezed back.. then the clasp loosened.. she was drowsy again..
I stood besides her.. a woman in pain..waiting for the mercy of death.. her only hope now was a fast and peaceful death.
I felt disturbed.. what did she know about euthanasia...?...mercy killing.... about dying with dignity.. not like this.. whimpering away like an animal.. Why couldn’t we docs help hersara died few days later but she influenced my views about mercy killing a lot…
comments needed..

Manipulations....

I am proud of my son Gautam. His Adonis like looks..Excellence in sports..Leadership...The way he gets good scores without any fuss...
His thickening eyebrows and hoarsening voice makes my heart melt.. Even the crops of pimples on his face. And his brooding anger at times ..I find adorable.
Naturally I wish the best for my son. And what's that...? hhmmm I want him to be happy. Of course...
A mom wants the best for her son. I wish he gets admission in IIT or a good medical college. Doctor or engineer. The basic middle class dream...
I know that to be happy he should do the work he enjoys. That I should wait patiently till his tastes develop
But I cant help dropping manipulative comments.... Here and there...
Recently he told me that he would prefer IT, journalism or geology. It may change too. He is so innocent. What does he know about life?

I should be happy. I'm sure he will excel in any field he chooses.

But in the heart of heart I want him to become a doc or an engineer. Why..?. To boast about my smart son....? To make my friends and relatives envious..?.Or cos they are established stable fields and I am so protective of my son....? I don't know....
Should I leave him to his choices or try to guide him..? Is it right to interfere with a persons dreams...? . I wonder...

comments needed..