Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Realization


She sat before me. Dressed in white… Saggy face wrinkled with time. Thinning silvery hair...The dulling eyes stared into mine... The nose stud twinkled.
My role was to break the bad news. That she had carcinoma stomach.. Progressed beyond surgical cure... we could give Chemo a try. But it could ransack her frail body. She had other complication too... diabetes... hypertension...
To treat or not..?
Her two sons and one daughter were unable to reach a decision.
They wanted me to find out what she felt...
I looked into the eyes………dull solemn eyes... with hundreds of tales to tel...
The warmth of her father’s chest... the tenderness of her mom’s touch...
Moonlight... The intoxicating smell of the damp earth ..and a soft buttery voice.. whispering her name...
The molten pain of goodbye...
An alien house... Her body being plundered by a man she hardly knew…
Warm brawling babies nestling on her breasts ..as love almost like pain shooted through her...
His proud smile as she lit the first fire in their own home...
Quiet evenings spent listening to him talking... about his dreams for their babies.
.Holding the cold body of her 12yr old... and pleading with the silent heavens …to take her life too
More monsoons...
Marriages... grandchildren...
Sitting besides him... holding his hands... and feeling him slip away...
Slowly... softly—silently...
I had finished speaking...
To treat or not..?
The solemn eyes gazed into mine. “Just sooth away the pain baby... she whispered I need only peace...”
I waited for more words... but no...
She had taken the burden of the decision for her children’s sake...
I rang the bell and asked the attendant to let the children in...
She got up to leave. Then turned back...
“Had a wonderful life... should have realized it at the time...” she smiled...
My eyes filled... A lump formed in my throat..I smiled back...

24 comments:

clash said...

life is about good,bad and the worst, its rarely a realization. its an essential truth!

silverine said...

I haven't read anything more sad or beautiful as this post in a long while.

Parna said...

she is an awe-inspiring person, like most who have led, maybe ordinary, but satisfactory lives.

Nomadic said...

Looking back.. things mostly look great if not splendid!
I've met many who've felt that way (I'm one of them too)
Maybe we've been very demanding with the present... or a bit leanient with the past :)

the-think said...

...and how is she now?

Geo said...

Some pleasant incidents also, please...
I would still like to believe that this world of ours is a good place to live...

Don’t think me will last as long as ur heroine did or will be confronted with such a dilemma. In today’s fast paced world, the candle gets burned at both the ends, ensuring you will be all done and finished in plain 40 years… ;_) and that too either a cardiac arrest or a rode accident. :_))

Anonymous said...

Yeh! That's great. I'll keep my eye on the progress!
I have a Wedding Photographers UK site/blog. It pretty much covers Wedding Photographers UK related stuff.
I'd love to see you there :-)

hope and love said...

clash..
i didnt get you.. dull of me..?
:))
silverine,
txs..!! u made my day..!!
parna,
ya greatness in the ordinary..
mll,
very true..
TT,
i saw her only a few days back..
geo,
ok . im also feeling that my posts r gettin too morbid..
:))
anon,
txs.let me visit ur site

Dewdrop said...

Hey Hope&Love,
Sounds like you an oncologist. Im sure you mustve been through even the worst situations of confronting cancer patients. It only takes courage and prudence to the job you are into. Kudos
And yes, your writings are very compassionate and eloquent. Thanks for your comment on my blog.

>|' ; '| said...

do you support euthanasia?

>|' ; '| said...

dont get me wrong...i asked the question about euthanasia in a general sense...

hope and love said...

dewdrop..(lovely name):))
no im a pathologist.. i reported the carcinoma in this case..
im also their family doc (out dated concept huh..?)thats why i talked to her.
poison.. its a very complicated issue involing a lot of moral and ethical values.. plz read a previous post of mine.. DIGNITY.. and the comments iv tried to touch the issue of euthanasia in it..

hope and love said...

poison.. the post is in the archives.. april 2005

Anonymous said...

Good work on the website. Looking forward to visiting again

I run personal loans It has great resources for personal loans

Anonymous said...

I love your blog! You did an excellent job! I have a blog on xbox360 exposed if you would like to come and comment on it!

Anonymous said...

You have a great blog here! I’m definitely going to bookmark you!

I have a more website traffic site which covers more website traffic related matters.

Check it out when you’ve got the chance.

Anonymous said...

Tracking the Latest Trends at Law Libraries
Competitive intelligence and general business research have become an important part of the marketing effort.
Lookin good, loved your blog site! Bookmarked it.

I have a Nautical Ceiling Fan site/blog. It pretty much covers Nautical Ceiling Fan related stuff.

Come see it when you get time.

Anonymous said...

Microsoft Revamps MSN Blogs
Please enter my order and I'll get 2 Risk-Free Issues of PC World plus 15 Instant Free Power Guides and Bonus Windows Tips CD-ROM. If I like PC World, I'll get 18 more issues for only $20. If not, I'll write ...
Wow! You have a nice blog here. I'm definitely gonna check back and tell my friends. Keep it up.

I have a automated selling site. It's all about automated selling and related things.

Check us out if you get time.

Anonymous said...

You have a great blog here! I'm definitely going to bookmark you!
I have a Wedding Photography UK site/blog. It pretty much covers Wedding Photography UK related stuff.
Come and check it out if you get time :-)

Anonymous said...

Amazing job on your Blog! I'll definatly be coming back. If you're interested, check out my PS3 vs XBOX360 blog that shows unveils all th secrets there are to know between these two mecca systems.

Anonymous said...

What's on tonight
TV Land has a mini-marathon of The Andy Griffith Show starting at 7pm. FOX has a new episode of So You Think You Can Dance at 8. ABC airs a 2-hour tribute to Peter Jennings at 8. Oxygen has the ...
Thanks for hosting this blog. I think this is as important an innovation as the Gutenberg Press!

I have articles posted on hearing impairment and hearing aid repair at Hear Rite Hearing Aid Repair. You are welcome to browse there.

Anonymous said...

'Justice Sunday' organizers extend generous welcome to bloggers
The organizers of "Justice Sunday II" plan to pay expenses for several bloggers to attend and publicize this weekend's rally in Nashville, Tenn.
your resource forhip hop n rap , including all of the latest hip hop news.

Anonymous said...

Awesome Blog! I added you to my bookmarks. Feel free to check out my blog on nintendo revolution exposed anytime!

anumita said...

This has been written really well. The emotions are so graphic.