Saturday, November 24, 2007

Blood guilt.




‘Pregnant..??’


The stricken eyes gazed at me. The smooth cheeks burned.. The full lips trembled.

“Yes pregnant.. About 6wks”.


‘But.. But we used condoms.. Always..’


She whispered.
‘Condoms are not 100% safe.. Didn’t you know that..?’


‘No.’ She stared back.. Blankly..


‘Well, you are pregnant.’ I repeated allowing the news to sink in.


‘Talk to your boy friend. Get married… Fast..!’


I smiled at her.


Marriage… him..? no..’

‘But you are pregnant.’


She stared back her face pale..


‘But we never discussed marriage..’


‘Never..?!”.Why.’


I was confused.


‘Our paths are different.... Our families will never agree. She wouldn’t look at me.

‘Different religions. Different backgrounds. He is a Muslim’.


‘But.’


‘I was now utterly confused.


'We are lovers. But marriage is out of question. It was made clear from the beginning itself.’


‘We used contraceptives. Always.’


‘So you want to have abortion. .


I felt anger bubbling up my gut.


‘Abortion. ? No. Its murder…’


The lovely face was deathly pale.


'You plan to deliver the baby?'


She was silent her gaze fluttered. She looked trapped. Cornered.

I leaned forwards and rested my hands on the table. ‘Aparna you are pregnant. You can’t wish the problem away. The baby is growing every minute’


‘But we used contraception.’


She murmured to herself


‘Contraceptive failure is always a possibility.’ I repeated.


‘Sex should never take lightly. My tone indicated.


‘Confess to your parents. Shall I call them over here? Give me their no:’ I spoke softly. Gently.

She looked as if she would faint.

‘Take your time. Decide what to do.’

‘But abortion is murder.’ She said to no one in particular.

Don’t take a decision now. Think it over. Tell me tomorrow
I had many more patients waiting.

I watched her as she walked out in a daze.

Smart. Forward..Good looking... Professional. ..Self sufficient.. anyone who saw her would credit her being all that.. on first impression..
'Forward' enough to consider sex without marriage

She was now facing the age old problem.

'Women are women. You should have been more careful.'
I wanted to tell her. But what was the point? The damage was already done. She had already learned it the hard way.

She never came back to me. I don’t know what her decision was..

I sincerely hope it was not abortion.

The easy way out.

Murder.

Bloodguilt.

22 comments:

soul&body said...

hummm what a story... and these things are always happening because of our society, silly ideas, what has the religion with love? muslim, hindi , catholic... the most important is the love they feel about each other. I wouldnt care about what family thinks! then marriage is just a sign a paper... just an extra thing...because love they already feel.....

silverine said...

Smart, forward, professional, self sufficient???? I beg to differ. This was not smart at all. I mean getting into a physical relationship before marriage, knowing full well that you will not marry the guy and the fact that there will definitely be a husband in her life in the future!! That is being dishonest and quite frankly a little arrogant if I may say so!

Dhanya said...

I also fully agree with silverine.. I still believe there are certain values that drive us which needs to be followed.. Sex before marriage or sex for fun is something that I can't digest.. Last week I had been to a home for chidren waiting for adoption.. Most of them abandened by unwed mothers.. What mistake did they do to lead a like like that? It's definitely not fun..

hope and love said...

soul & body,
frankly i dont think it was divine love or anything like that.. they were lovers yes.
silvie,
i think i didnt get the message across clearly i think.. it was the fact that she appeared to be all that that disturbed me so much..
see i'v edited the post now.
txs sweetheart..
:))
dhanya Sex before marriage or sex for fun is something that I can't digest.. i fully agree with you..
but it seems that lots of youngsters feel otherwise. actually i wanted to alert all the young girls out there..
cos the tragedy of pregnancy in an unmarried girl is beyond imagination..
and abortion always leaves a scar.. emotionaly as well as physicaly..

Alexis said...

These kind of episodes are on the rise... Now premarital sex seems to be the norm rather than the exception... Our society is moving forward, but moral values are going back... Where are we heading?

silverine said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
ursjina said...

i am a silent reader..but this post..i gotta say something..it made me cry...for obvious reasons...

venus66 said...

A good post here. This is something difficult to digest. It is for everyone to ponder. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you for visiting my blog.

emmanuel said...

Our youth are feeling so free to do pre-marital sex and whatever they want to.....to break away from the hassles of conventions.....they say that they are 'celebrating' their 'independence' of body......but they don't realise the fact that we are still in a society where the reigious and social conditions still orthodox in every sense.......when she had sex with her boyfriend, she was not much concerned that they belonged to different spectrums of society.....she knew very well that they won't marry......but she didn't knew the basic things about the physical activity....or it was a rarer mistake......but i doubt whether they love each other....because if they had loved each other....they would have tried to get together in the future too.....since she knows that they won't marry, i think whatever they had between them was not love.....it shud be lust, without any shade of love.....i don't blame it only on her....i blame her boyfriend (if i can call him so!!)too...for being so irresponsible to themselves.....the sad fact is women still suffer.....as u rightly pointed out....our society will again say..."women had to be more careful"......but i hope they may marry, if possible.....that wud be the best solution...

Geets said...

so touching and thought provoking post....
wonder what she did afterwards....
these new generation kids...so forward yet so backward...

Arti Honrao said...

I agree with Silverine and Dhanya.
It was not a smart act and I do not vote for sex before marriage.

It is also strange that the girl did not know that contraceptives can fail.

Outward appearance can be deceiving, often!
And yes, about the girl being disturbed ... she's asked for it!

Like ... "Aa bailh mujhe maar!"

I hope that after reading your post, young girls out that would grasp something important


1. Contraceptives CAN fail
2. Don't invite trouble



GBU
Arti

Na.Su.Krishnan said...

Hmmm..A right hit. Reading from a doctor's page adds an extra load of importance.

mathew said...

it simply comes down to the basic flaw in societal concept that a woman loses virginity but the man doesnt although "Yes" in medical terms..A Woman doesnt get a second chance to rectify a mistake..and it is often too late when they realise it..Here the guy is goin to easily get out of it..no issues..no stigma..it was just a one night stand for him..

Although I dont agree with all pre-maritial phyiscal relation for purely personal ethical reasons..i must say that in general it is simply the strain of how society looks upon at unwed mothers that drives them to the hard option of abortion..I am not supporting that girl here..but ultimately she is goin to bear the brunt..and no one else!!

Shafa said...

Dear blogger,

I came across ur blog link in one of my dear frnd's scrap book.
I must say I am very much moved. Please keep writing.

Regds,
S

Maria said...

Nice Blogs...
It is really mind blowing...
u tend to give awareness to the girls...
in some cases girls are pushed towards these situations..
as you said girls shud be careful..
keep posting these kind of awareness blogs...

Jo said...

Your posts are always full of life, doc.

Adorable Pancreas said...

Someone should have told her the only foolproof contraceptive method is abstinence. I sure hope she didn't kill the baby, most of the womne I saw during the FP posting had no such qualms, and they were married women.

Geo said...

Am I seeing a lot of judgmental souls out here?

;)

Judge not, that ye be not judged

jinu said...

Dear Doctor,
very much thoughtful blogs..

keep it up..!

Dimple said...

A lot of youngsters are just curious about these things..they do it just for fun..just for the sake of it...I mean seriously..wen u know that u wont get married to the person ..then y getting involved in such things..this story was seriously very well written and will be a eye opener for many such " Forward " Youngsters..

Alameen said...

The abortion is always a euphemism for murder...
Great to know that Doctors enlighten people about it...

3 cheers...
Hope everything turned good f0r the gal...

AnneK said...

Hi, Your blog showed up as a reccommended read in my reader and I clicked on over.

This was a moving post. If only more women realize it in time!