Saturday, October 29, 2005
I decided to leave.
There was no clear-cut reason. I could continue my residency.
But psychiatry no longer mesmerized me.Dr Gidwani no longer inspired me.
The clinician in me preferred to practice evidence based medicine. Scientific, precise, methodical medicine. There were too much obscure factors in psychiatry..
I gave up my dream..
But I kept in touch with Lekha..Off and On..
The new block was inaugurated by the President Of India. Dr Gidwani was awarded Padmasree for his excellent service in psychiatry.
Rajeev continued his delinquent ways.. But he behaved properly with Lekha..He died in an RTA a few years later.
Ullas was never cured completely ..He had spells of sanity.. Lekha always delighted him .. Making him happy gave her deep pleasure.
But the depression recurred. He committed suicide during a bad spell. Dr Gidwani stated that it was common in Major depressive psychosis.
Lekha continued to face life with a determination to be happy at any cost.
A few years later ,She got married again ... To a psychiatrist in the institute..
Dr Gidwani died due to cancer esophagus in ‘Ullas memorial hospital.’. Lekha was the chairperson of the trust which managed the hospital.
We visited Manali this spring.. On the way back I told my husband that I wished to visit the Institute… see Lekha.
Lekha was transformed.. Poised.. Confident.. Mother of a six year old girl..
We walked through the enchanting campus. It was blooming.
“I am happy now”.. She smiled .
We met Dr Akash, Lekha's husband. A happy go lucky man with huge dimples, twinkling eyes and long unruly hair falling over his forehead.. We talked late into the night.. He kept us in splits with his anecdotes in the institute
He took his job in the right perspective.. I reflected.. Detached.. Balanced.. With a dash of humor..
I was pensive on the way back.
“”Mama..! Mama..!” I was startled out of my thoughts by Taj’s voice.. He was rubbing my elbows to attract my attention..
“Yes baby..” I was still thinking about the institute.
“Mama ..I want to become a psychiatrist when I grow up.” His huge eyes were ernest..
“Oh..!!” I was startled..
Multitude of emotion racked my body..
“Don’t take him seriously.” my husband laughed..
“Tomorrow he will want to be a fire fighter.”. He smiled at me..
“Hmmm.. true…” I muttered..
I smiled back at him..
P.S Dr Gidwani is still alive… I wrote about his cancer and death out of sheer spite.. and to satisfy Lash..