Friday, April 22, 2005

Manipulations....

I am proud of my son Gautam. His Adonis like looks..Excellence in sports..Leadership...The way he gets good scores without any fuss...
His thickening eyebrows and hoarsening voice makes my heart melt.. Even the crops of pimples on his face. And his brooding anger at times ..I find adorable.
Naturally I wish the best for my son. And what's that...? hhmmm I want him to be happy. Of course...
A mom wants the best for her son. I wish he gets admission in IIT or a good medical college. Doctor or engineer. The basic middle class dream...
I know that to be happy he should do the work he enjoys. That I should wait patiently till his tastes develop
But I cant help dropping manipulative comments.... Here and there...
Recently he told me that he would prefer IT, journalism or geology. It may change too. He is so innocent. What does he know about life?

I should be happy. I'm sure he will excel in any field he chooses.

But in the heart of heart I want him to become a doc or an engineer. Why..?. To boast about my smart son....? To make my friends and relatives envious..?.Or cos they are established stable fields and I am so protective of my son....? I don't know....
Should I leave him to his choices or try to guide him..? Is it right to interfere with a persons dreams...? . I wonder...

comments needed..

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

Angel-doc,

First things first. I am happy to know that you recognized what is the basic middle class mom or pop's dream about their kids' career. I am very happy to read about this in writing.

Now, you are definitely not just a middle class mom. I say this after going through the material you presented on your blog. Yes. I am very much confident about my statement. You are not just another middle class mom.

I think you got the answer to your confusion about Goutam's career and future. As a mom you have responsibility to put before him what are the avenues there for his creer and what he gets out of each avenue. You need to give him all the information and insight. And finally, as a mom, you know his insticts.. his way of seeing things.. reacting to them.. his aspirations..dreams.. life style he is developing for him..and everything verywell than anybody on this earth.. you have to SUGGEST HIM NOT MORE THAN 3 OR 4 FIELDS HE CAN THINK ABOUT CHOOSING. Thats it. You can do not more than that. You should leave the decision to him. He may choose out of the ones you suggested or not. Its up to him. Completely. Once he chooses something, again you have the responsibility to help him, guide him, assist him, providing your everything to make him reach heights in his chosen field. Thats what I feel. As a Father of two lovely kids, as a freelance writer, as a mass media professional and as a celebrity...

Love your blog. Keep going.

who ever i am.
Good going doc

hope and love said...

hmmm thanks a lot..
:)

hope and love said...

the advice is a very balanced one.. and i know that you are the best example of a person who follows his dream..
:)
thats what makes you so special..!!

clash said...

comments needed.. this sentence prompted me to write this out here.. otherwise no intentions to disrupt the statusquo out here..
what ever u presented is a basic middle class milieu. I THINK YOU HAVE to do a SERIOUS INQUISITION IN TO YOUR CHILDS MIND AND DIG OUT WHERE HIS INTEREST LIES. im a person who regrets having chosen a wrong career.. :)-

Producer said...

Good job my friend.

hope and love said...

thank you clllaaassshh..
your comments are most welcome..
iv noticed that your comments are very sharp..blunt and to the point..
:))
parenting is difficult these days.. cos we are aware that we have to see the point of view of our teenagers..
previously it was diffrent..
infact my mom just stated while i was in my primary school..that i would become a doc and i just followed it..!!
i still dont know if it was the right choice for me.. but it did give my life a lot of financial stability..
often we do things and make decisions for our kids thinking that they are not mature enough to make our their decisions.. that we know better..cos we want to protect them..
often we regret our choice of career.. maybe its cos the grass is always greener on the other side.. who knows..?
but we pull on..
brave ones quit and seek their dreams.. but i have seen some becoming failures in their chosen field also..
my father was one who failed after quiting from an excellent job that was not satisfying enough for him..
and he had to go back to a similar but less satisfying job..

hope and love said...

albert.. i came across your site accidently..
its good i liked it..

hope and love said...

but i liked AJ speaks.. out better thats also yours isnt it..?

mountain man said...

Hi! You sound like a very sweet and attentive mother. I like your attitudes. Good luck to you!

Tricksand said...

Doc don't comment oh classshhhh's comments its just a wild dream commin out " He knows where he can excell in and what is best for he but he is not doing any of them reason is unknown atleast to me !" And cllassshhh r u free all the time u r not missing a single post of any one ..... doc tat was a good thing and its not tat uncommon to think the way u think coz atleast i got a similar treatment...

hope and love said...

c'mon dhyanam.. dont be so mean..it doesnt suit you..

:))

Tom said...

The ambition starts inculcating into kids even when they are 8 years old. This ambition is shaped by their exposure to the society,
parental talk, proper role models, peer discussions, reading of
good books, etc. In other words, if
the kid is brought up well
till they are in high school, they may be able
to decide what is right for them not only for college education but also for the rest of their life.

Geo said...

Outdated comment:

What you decide is not important. Instead, what goes in as input in that decision-making process is important. You shouldn’t try to affect the decision itself, not even the decision making process, but the inputs for the process.