Blood guilt.

‘Pregnant..??’

The stricken eyes gazed at me. The smooth cheeks burned.. The full lips trembled.

“Yes pregnant.. About 6wks”.

‘But.. But we used condoms.. Always..’

She whispered.
‘Condoms are not 100% safe.. Didn’t you know that..?’

‘No.’ She stared back.. Blankly..

‘Well, you are pregnant.’ I repeated allowing the news to sink in.

‘Talk to your boy friend. Get married… Fast..!’

I smiled at her.

Marriage… him..? no..’

‘But you are pregnant.’

She stared back her face pale..

‘But we never discussed marriage..’

‘Never..?!”.Why.’

I was confused.

‘Our paths are different.... Our families will never agree. She wouldn’t look at me.

‘Different religions. Different backgrounds. He is a Muslim’.

‘But.’

‘I was now utterly confused.

'We are lovers. But marriage is out of question. It was made clear from the beginning itself.’

‘We used contraceptives. Always.’

‘So you want to have abortion. .

I felt anger bubbling up my gut.

‘Abortion. ? No. Its murder…’

The lovely face was deathly pale.

'You plan to deliver the baby?'

She was silent her gaze fluttered. She looked trapped. Cornered.

I leaned forwards and rested my hands on the table. ‘Aparna you are pregnant. You can’t wish the problem away. The baby is growing every minute’

‘But we used contraception.’

She murmured to herself

‘Contraceptive failure is always a possibility.’ I repeated.

‘Sex should never take lightly. My tone indicated.

‘Confess to your parents. Shall I call them over here? Give me their no:’ I spoke softly. Gently.

She looked as if she would faint.

‘Take your time. Decide what to do.’

‘But abortion is murder.’ She said to no one in particular.

Don’t take a decision now. Think it over. Tell me tomorrow

I had many more patients waiting.

I watched her as she walked out in a daze.

Smart. Forward..Good looking... Professional. ..Self sufficient.. anyone who saw her would credit her being all that.. on first impression..
'Forward' enough to consider sex without marriage

She was now facing the age old problem.

'Women are women. You should have been more careful.'

I wanted to tell her. But what was the point? The damage was already done. She had already learned it the hard way.

She never came back to me. I don’t know what her decision was..

I sincerely hope it was not abortion.

The easy way out.

Murder.

Bloodguilt.

Peace..

Mr Moorthy died. A few weeks back.

His wife came to see me today. To collect medicines for her sons.

Mr Moorthy was conscious almost till his end. The morning he died , he called both his sons to his bedside.. He hugged them and blessed them. His eyes overflowed.

What pains me deeply is that nothing definite has been arranged regarding the sons.

Who will take care of them once their mother too passes away...?

From what I understood, they had expected her brothers to take care of the two sons after taking whatever property they have. But it was towards his end that they realized that it was not going to work out.

She is now searching for some institution which would take care of them.

I felt so sorry for the old woman. Widowed at 72yrs. With not much education or exposure, she is somehow grappling with her life, alone, burdened by her two sick sons.

I told her to do something as early as possible. To arrange something with the help of her brothers. Meanwhile I would also try to contact a few institutions.

May God help her.

May his soul rest in peace..

PS. I had written about Mr.Moorthy and his special family on March 6, 2005.